so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
