i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
