He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
