I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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