love makes seman taste better
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
