Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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