Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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