I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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