I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The air was thick with penises
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
