Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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