We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Come see our sink grown plant.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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