my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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