just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
