well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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