yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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