Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
