Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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