Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
