i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
