can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
