I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
