I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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