They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
