she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
