yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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