I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
