Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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