I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
