i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
