she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
