I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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