just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
