I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
