So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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