Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
