i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
