Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
