woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
we're so committed to being not committed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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