Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
