The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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