I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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