I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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