Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
where does the pee come out of this thing
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
