So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize