and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Randomize
