So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
