I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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