i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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