Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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