I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
