Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
