I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
