Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
